Got Patience?

Wow.

I'm really having difficulty finding the time to keep up with this thing.

Maybe it's part poor time management and part just sooooo much to do!!! Maybe I'll get it all figured out one day...but I doubt it!

Still, life is grand, ain't it? I mean, seriously, on the night that I was going to write about "patience", I totally lost it with the kids!!! Jason was gone for the weekend, and we'd had a pretty "good" day (especially when you consider that we all went grocery shopping in a very busy Wal-Mart...which is a hateful experience even when I'm by myself).

So, that night, the kids were being hyper-maniacs. I was trying to get them settled for bed, when BAM!!! I heard a bedroom door slam. That usually is enough, all by itself, to get me fired up, because I have this thing about people slamming doors. Anyway, what made it worse this time is that just as it was being slammed, I happened to look that way just in time to see Jacob barely getting his hand out of way.

I lost it.

I think I scared the kids to death, because they had nowhere to go. Daddy wasn't home. Mimi and Poppy were gone. It was just Mommy and her blaring vocal chords, spewing accusations and threats.

I didn't hit them, or cause them physical harm in any way, but it was the type of rant that made me want to go to my room and cry when I was finished. I'm pretty sure I did.

I also apologized to the kids later, and of course they were, as kids always are, very forgiving.

I'm so thankful that God's forbearance is much greater than mine. He is so patient with me. I mess up over and over again. I play hostess to spiritual pride, self-pity and bitterness. I am prone to wander away from what I know is the truth. I am at times ungrateful and selfish. I am worthy of nothing that I have.

Still, He is patient with me when I complain to Him. He gently reveals to me my misguided behavior and persistently shows me the correction I need.

I really want to be the kind of mother to my kids that my Father is to me!! I'm a work in progress, I know, and I'm glad that He sees me through the blood of His Son.

When I think of the love I have for my kids, even when their behavior is at its worst, I know that I'm just starting to scratch the surface of the love that my Father has for me.

Psalm 103:8-9, 13-14

The Lord is compassionate and gracious,

Slow to anger and abounding in lovingkindness

He will not always strive with us

Nor will He keep His anger forever.

Just as a father has compassion on his children

So the Lord has compassion on those who fear Him

For He Himself knows our frame

He is mindful that we are but dust.

Thank You, Lord.

Fruit of the Day--Joy

Joy.

This picture brings me joy.

Being with my family brings me joy.

My friends bring me joy.

My husband brings me joy.

The fact that Jacob has gone three days with no "accidents" brings me joy.

I felt joy when Ashlyn encouraged me to do my morning Bible study again today.

I felt joy when she wanted to sit next to me with her Bible too!

I felt joy when Emily told me she wanted to be a rock star who worships God. :)

But, if all of those things were taken away, would I still have joy? I believe that many times we confuse true joy with mere happiness. So, what is the difference?

Happiness exists when something good happens, or when life is going well. When a person has true joy, it exists even when things are not always good. There is only one place from where true joy comes, and that is from the Giver of all good things: God.

When I realize that He is my true source of joy, I can feel it even when things aren't going all that great. I sometimes have to intentionally plug into that resource, lest I become overwhelmed by the uncertainty of my circumstances, but His abundant flow is available to me at all times. The enemy would like nothing better than to steal away our joy, especially during times when we are vulnerable, like when we are going through a difficult time. But God's Word is full of promises, including several on joy.

Jesus said in John 16:22, "So with you: Now is your time of grief, but I will see you again and you will rejoice, and no one will take away your joy." We can believe that when we find our joy in a relationship with Him, our suffering on this earth will one day be turned to everlasting joy.

Real joy is deeper than happiness. Happiness can fade, but true joy will last. And when we walk in the Spirit instead of our flesh, divine joy will be evident in our lives and others will hopefully be drawn to Jesus as a result.

I dare say that everyone experiences happiness to some degree, but only those who know the hope of Christ ever experience true joy.

Thank You Veterans!

In honor of Veteran's Day, the kids sang this song at a senior adult luncheon. I just couldn't resist sharing it!!

The girls were very nervous, but I was proud of them for getting up there! Make sure to notice how Jake NEVER misses the word "up" in the chorus.

To all of the veterans out there...thank you!!!!!!

Hope you enjoy the video...

Fruit of the Day--Love

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness

goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control;

against such things there is no law.

Galatians 5:22-23

We have a thing at our house called the Fruit of the Day, and it has nothing to do with apples and bananas.

A couple of years ago I started this with the kids in an attempt to teach them about the fruits of the Spirit in Galatians 5. It caught on very well, and the kids really enjoy it. For instance, if the fruit of the day is love, then we try to be aware all day of showing love to one another. The next day the fruit of the day would be joy, and we try to think of ways that we can bring joy or feel joy even in difficult circumstances. It's a great way to become aware of what it means to let God's Spirit rule our lives. Over the past few months we have gotten away from doing this every day, but lately it has resurfaced and I have started to be intentional with it again.

So, as I was thinking about it, I thought I might do a few posts on the passage in Galatians 5, starting, of course, with love!

So, what does it mean to love others God's way? If you're like me, then sometimes you choose to conveniently ignore some of the most basic Biblical principles about love. Here's an example: say you have been hurt by someone and have a legitimate right to be angry. It's easy enough for you to just forget about trying to mend the relationship, and you may feel like that's okay because you have been wounded and have a right to hold a grudge. You are the victim, right?

But consider Jesus' words, found in Luke 6:32: "If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? For even sinners love those who love them." And verse 35, "But love your enemies, and do good...and your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High; for He Himself is kind to ungrateful and evil men." Loving in God's way means loving even those who have shown no love to us. It means loving, even when there is no return.

Paul wrote in Romans 12:9 to "Let love be without hypocrisy." That means that we must love for the right reasons, not for self-centered reasons. The only way that we can accomplish this is by daily denying ourselves and LOVING the Lord with all our hearts, souls, minds and strength, because when we truly do that, then we relinquish our RIGHTS to His power, and then He enables us to love even those who seem unlovable to us. Make sense?

We also need not forget that Jesus said to not only love Him wholeheartedly, but to love others as we love ourselves. He didn't suggest this as a way to live, He hailed it as the greatest of all commandments. We must love the way He wants us to love, and that includes the ultimate display of love--forgiveness.

I really struggle with this in a couple of areas of my life. It's extremely difficult sometimes to show love in the way God commands. But, if I truly want to live by the Spirit (and not my flesh), I have to learn to give up my "rights" and love Him with my whole being. I trust Him enough to know that when I do that, His love will infiltrate my life and spill over to others as well. It is not easy to let go, is it? But I have found that taking it one choice at a time, and praying for His strength seems to make it much less daunting.

Never forget that when we choose to follow His ways, He promises to hold our hand and give us the strength we need. The next time you are faced with a choice to either harbor a grudge or let go and love, choose the way that He commands. You will find freedom, release, and your life will beautifully exhibit the fruit of living by God's Spirit.

A "Public" Thank You

Disclaimer: I normally would never ever ever ever choose to post a picture of myself in a hospital gown more than once, except this was the only picture that I had of myself with Dad and Evan. :)

I am finally feeling well after a very rough week of "healing". To make a long story very short, I now know that I am severely allergic to a particular adhesive which was used on me before I left the hospital. In short, it was pretty miserable for several days there, but I am much better now. I feel like I'm sort of getting back into life again, which basically means that I am able to move around and do such glamorous tasks such as go to Wal-Mart, wash dishes, teach school and clean house. It's ironic to me that doing those things now actually makes me feel better. I guess I thrive on some sort of normalcy (whatever that is for me now). :)

However, as difficult as those few days were, it would have been a lot harder if it hadn't been for the great help that I had.

Of course, Jason is always a wonderful help and very supportive.

And we are so thankful for the wonderful meals that have been prepared for us by several friends and family members.

But, I wanted to "publicly" thank my Mom and Dad for all they have done for me over the last two or three weeks. From watching the kids while we were at the hospital, to cleaning my house while I sat and held my newborn, my parents have been invaluable to me. Jake has bonded with Poppy (my dad), while Mom has driven me to my unplanned doctor's appointments and spent many hours at my house folding my laundry, washing my dishes and taking care of my other three kids while Jason was working. This allowed me to rest and heal and spend time with Evan, knowing that we were all in good hands.

Several mornings, Mom came down to the house very early to fix breakfast for the family, just so I could sleep. And all of this is on top of the already great things they have done for me in the past, like teaching me the value of loving and living for Christ, just to name one.

When I thanked my Mom the other day for all the support and help, she replied to me, "That's what parents do, Amy. They take care of their children."

I would only add one word to that statement: that's what good parents do.

I thank God for my very good parents.

And to you, Mom and Dad, I also say "thanks"-- for what you do for me and my family, and for teaching me how to be a good parent. I love you!

We're Gonna Keep Him

This was the scene this morning in our room. No, it isn't like this every night. Most of the time it's either no kids or one kid who ends up snoozing between us. But lately, everyone wants to be where Evan is--and for now that is in our room.

He is a popular little fellow, that Evan. At the hospital, Jake didn't care about having anything to do with him. But since we've been home, he has tenderly shown his love by taking time out from playing to come and stroke him on the head or give him a little kiss. He even asks to hold him now! I love to ask Jake what the baby's name is, because he can never remember. He always gets this thoughtful look on his face as he works hard to come up with the right name. I always have to then say, "Eh..." and then he shouts, "Evan!!" But, of course, as is obvious from the picture, he has much love for his little brother.

The girls love taking turns holding him, and Emily was singing him to sleep the other night. They are such big helpers, fetching diapers, holding him and being loving to him. I'm so thankful that everyone is taking to him so well.

As for me, I literally have my hands full, because when I have a newborn, I hold them all the time. Well, obviously, I let my family hold him some, and occasionally I'll put him down to accomplish such tasks as showering or brushing my teeth. :) So, I guess it's not all the time, but they are like this for such little time that I want to relish every moment and hold him in my arms before he gets big enough to start squirming around.

Some people believe that this can spoil a baby, making him want to be held all the time. My belief is that a newborn cannot be spoiled (and that has been my experience), for they grow so quickly and the time passes so fast.

So, the Liddles are doing well, enjoying the first days of the Evan's life, and taking in God's blessings. Now, I gotta go get Evan...he's been in the swing long enough. :)

True Love

“To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even to an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket- safe, dark, motionless, airless--it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable.”

~C. S. Lewis

I could have decided that my heart was too valuable. That it wasn't worth the risk. But because I didn't make that choice, my heart is wide open. Wide open for pain. Wide open to yearn. Wide open to be broken.

But more than that....

it's wide open for joy. Wide open for happiness. Wide open to love and be loved.

It's sometimes a scary thing to look at my children, or to watch my newborn, so helpless and dependent, and realize the depth of love that I have in my heart. It's scary because I know that it makes me vulnerable to the worst kind of pain. To love, is indeed, to give your heart away. But the joy in the journey far outweighs the pain of a loveless life.

To be in a place of feeling and vulnerablility is far better than the callous, cold "safety" of a guarded heart that refuses to love.

Welcome Little Evan!

Mimi and Evan

Jake was more interested in his new helicopter I think!!

I don't deserve this. I really don't. As my doctor was stitching me up today, I couldn't help but ponder the blessings of the Lord upon my life, and I was overwhelmed with the sense of His love and goodness, especially knowing how faithless I am sometimes.

Oh, did I mention we have a BOY?????!!!!! We have never found out the gender of our babies ahead of time, and usually we have a pretty even number of girl/boy guesses. But this time, I don't think that even one person guessed a girl! Everyone was right!

The surgery went so well. I'm sorry if this is too much information for some of you, but I'm going to share it anyway, because it is a testimony of God's protection over us! When my doctor made the first incision, she called Jason around so he could see what she was seeing. My uterus was so thin that the baby's hand could been seen through it. Amazing! That's why she had recommended an early delivery, and I know that God was in it. The umbilical cord was wrapped twice around his neck, which, obviously, can cause major problems. But not today. Praise the Lord!!

In addition, I think that this is the best I've ever felt after any surgery. I'm humbled and amazed, and that doesn't even begin to describe my feelings as I look at my newborn child.

Evan Michael Liddle is clearly one of the most beautiful babies in the world. No, I am not biased in the least. He really is. He is perfect in every way.

I keep asking myself, "What have I done to deserve this?" And I know in my heart that the answer is...absolutely nothing. I accept it as a blessing from God, and I can only say that I am so thankful. Words cannot describe.

Also, to the many of you who prayed for us and sent words of encouragement, you will never know what it meant to me as I was facing this day. Thank you!

It's hard to put into words all that I am feeling, so I will end with this verse today...

Every good thing given and every perfect gift

is from above, coming down from the Father of lights

with who there is no variation or shifting shadow.

James 1:17

The Real Peace of Mind

Okay, so this was a picture of me yesterday morning, before we headed to the hospital.

I was really dreading the amniocentesis, but as it turned out, it was no big deal! It really felt no different than when I've had my blood drawn. I did have some pain afterward, but that has since subsided.

We had to wait four hours for the results of the fetal lung maturity test...it seemed like an eternity! And then, when it came back that the lungs were too immature for delivery, my initial disappointment was almost overwhelming. However, it didn't take me long to get over it and be thankful that our baby appears to be healthy and is scheduled for delivery Monday at noon.

Something the Lord has shown me through this, though, is how much I need Him and how little I trust Him sometimes. The night before last, I worried a lot. My thoughts were nearly out of control. Fears about the amnio, the surgery, the safety of my other three children, the baby's health....I could go on. I know. It sounds ridiculous. I was subjecting myself to a sort of mental torture, brought on by entertaining (instead of dismissing) thoughts of fear and anxiety. It nearly paralyzed me.

Isn't it amazing how easily we trust our own fears instead of the One who promises to cast them out with His love?

It reminds me of Peter, walking toward Jesus on the water, when all of a sudden he realized that he was....walking on the water! It's easy to encourage others and give advice, but when it comes to living it out, it is a difficult task. I found myself praying Philippians 4:6-7 about every 15 minutes. I quoted it in my last post, but I love the translation of verse 7 in my daughter's Bible. It says, "And the peace of God, which surpasses every thought, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."

Peace which surpasses every thought....will guard my mind.

Oh, how I need His peace to guard my mind! I can't explain to you how much this Scripture has ministered to me over the last few days. I see my constant need to give everything to Him, including (and sometimes especially) my mind. Worry is so horrible, because while He promises strength during trials, He simply commands us not to worry. But even when my faith lacks so much, my loving God is willing to give me peace. He is willing, in spite of my weakness, to calm my spirit and remind me of His perfect love, which really does cast out fear.

Perfect Peace

Last week was a crazy busy week at our house. I spent lots of time getting out baby supplies and cleaning and organizing in preparation for the new arrival. Toward the end of the week, we had a visit from Ann, my good friend whom I hadn't seen in years! We had a great time catching up and reminiscing about old times. Then, over the weekend, we went on a camping trip (within an hour of the hospital of course!), and had a lot of fun, even though it was rainy the first night and really cold the second night. We had a heater and lots of blankets though, so we were toasty warm during the night.

I didn't have a picture of us camping, so I posted one of Jake as he helped clean the van after we got home, since he had kind of a hard time on our trip. Yesterday, after he'd spilled hot chocolate on his face (thankfully it was more on the warm side), he fell from the top of a six foot slide onto the ground. His fall was head first, but he landed on his back. It scared him, but he wasn't hurt a bit. We thanked his good friend Jesus for watching over him and protecting him, since a fall like that could have been a lot worse!! (By the way, that spot on his forehead is not a bruise, it's chocolate ice cream.)

Now, though, we are home, unpacked and looking forward to another busy week. The big delivery is scheduled for Wednesday, and while I am very excited, I also have a bit of anxiety. It's nothing crippling, just thoughts about how everything will go, and worries about things that could go wrong. Sometimes my mind is my worst enemy!!

But contrary to the way I used to be, I'm usually not that much of a worrier. There are just so many unknowns to me this time, and I have found myself becoming more and more anxious. So this morning, I laid it all out before the Father. I was comforted, first of all, by Romans 8:39, that there is nothing that can separate me from the love of my Father. It helped me to remember that even through all of my fears and worries, He loves me so much, and nothing can change that.

I also found comfort in the fact that He is so faithful, even when I am lacking faith, or at least having a hard time trusting. I know that He is trustworthy, and that no matter what happens in my life, He is totally in control. I find such great strength in being able to believe that promise without a doubt, keeping in mind the truth of Isaiah 26:3, "The steadfast of mind You will keep in perfect peace, because he trusts in You." God really does bring such peace when I lay my anxieties before Him, and I thank Him for promises such as these.

Be anxious for nothing, but in everything

by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving

let your requests be made know to God.

And the peace of God,

which surpasses all comprehension,

will guard your hearts and your minds

in Christ Jesus.

Philippians 4:6-7